A Final Fantasy Christmas
by Jello Ink
Summary: An old friend comes back to the North Pole, but he's got a grudge to settle. Can the elves and Santa fend him off before it's too late?


Title: A Final Fantasy Christmas  
Author: JELLO  
Rating: PG  
Assorted warnings: Character death, mature-ish themes  
Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy, if I did it would have ended better.  
  
  
~A Final Fantasy Christmas~  
  
Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there was an elf. This elf was one of Santa's own, and although he was crippled, he helped in his own way by baking cookies with Mrs. Claus. He was everyone's favorite, and he had many friends. He was very good-natured despite being confined to a wheelchair. The poor elf had had a near escape from a faulty G.I. Joe, but the attack had left him paralysed from the hip down.  
  
At the present this little elf was wheeling his way around the kitchen, mixing batter for reindeer shaped cookies. Mrs. Claus entered, clucking her tongue.  
  
"Squall dear, could you fetch me the good baking sheet? Santa ate the Christmas tree cookies again and we need to make more." She frowned slightly, and gathered the ingredients, while Squall pushed his wheelchair to the cupboard to get the baking sheets.   
  
Eight hours later, after Squall and Mrs. Claus had cleverly hidden the cookies where Santa would never find them -a lunch pail- Squall headed to the dinner hall. He saw his elven friends talking and laughing near the back. Rinoa, Zell, Irvine, Selphie and Quistis looked up and greeted him, smiling. He wheeled himself up to their table and took his place beside Rinoa, joining the friendly banter.  
  
Before Squall and the others knew it, the day (and dinner) was over. They all piled into the room they shared. Santa was a little cheap with floor space, so five or more to a room was not uncommon. Squall lifted himself on his bed, glanced lovingly at Rinoa, and cuddled under the covers. Dreams of sugar plums (though he didn't really know what they were) danced in his head. Little did he know he wasn't going to get a very good sleep.  
  
~ Later that night ~  
  
Squall woke up to a small but steady thumping on the roof. It sounded almost like...hoofbeats. He quickly woke Zell, who climbed up the chimney to check out the noise.  
  
"I dunno Squall, I don't really see any....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *girlish shriek*" All was quiet then. After a few moments that seemed to stretch forever, Squall breathed a sigh of relief as he heard a scrabbling coming down the chimney. He was, however, surprised and horrified to behold, instead of Zell, a body bag with a hand peeking out and a shadowy figure with a glowing red nose that could only belong to...SEIFER THE RENEGADE REINDEER!   
  
Seifer sneered.   
  
"What you were expecting Santy Claus?" His nose glowed an unearthly red, as he poked Squall with the butt of his machine gun, forcing him to leave the room and leaving poor Zell's body behind. "Take me to the other reindeer!"  
  
"But Seifer..."  
  
"Shutup! Just do it! Haven't you seen those Nike commercials?"  
  
Squall led the reindeer to the stables, quickly thinking of a clever plan to get the upper hand. Just as they reached the door and Squall took out his key, he pointed over Seifer's shoulder, crying:  
  
"Look! The ghost of Marilyn Monroe! And she's holding a book signing!"  
  
"Oh please, just open the door you invalid monkey."  
  
Squall shrugged and with a last odd look at Seifer, opened the stable doors. As soon as it opened a crack, Seifer kicked it, throwing his antlered head back, his luminous red nose bright and evil. A warning beacon in the night. He burst in, shoving Squall aside and took a predatory stance with a glare at the now-cowering creatures within. He addressed the crowd after a dramatic pause.  
  
"When I was a young buck, you made fun of my nose! You used to laugh and call me names!"  
  
"Oh, I remember," voiced Squall, "You never let him play the reindeer games." A small buck piped up from the back.  
  
"Like Monoploy!"  
  
"Yeah, that's right," said Seifer, nodding, "And now I'm quite sorry, but you all have to die." He was about to open fire when...  
  
"WAIT!!" Seifer half-turned to see Santa Claus himself, walking toward him. "You can still be our Most Valuable Reindeer(MVR)! I admit the reindeer made a mistake when they teased you, but that doesn't mean we all can't get along! We love you Seifer, and we wouldn't want to lose you. You are what makes Christmas a joy." Santa's eyes twinkled merrily, and his plump cheeks were red. "Seifer I suppose what I'm trying to say is...won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"   
  
Seifer's eyes widened and filled with tears.   
  
"I can? Really?"  
  
"Of course, m'boy!" Seifer fell on Santa with a happy sigh and they embraced after all these years of estrangement.  
  
"Oh Santa, I'm so sorry I made trouble, *sob*, please please forgive me *bigger sob* I...I don't mean to be bad but my daddy was an alcoholic and..." Suddenly Seifer dropped to the floor, unconcious. Rinoa stood behind him holding a tranquilizer gun, a big smile on her face.   
  
"Good job, Rinoa!" said Santa, locking handcuffs into place around Seifer's ankles. "Now put the little bugger in a holding cell!"   
  
And so Christmas was saved, and Seifer the Renegade Reindeer spent the rest of his natural life in the holding cell, whittling toys for wee reindeer who *hadn't* tried to destroy Christmas.  
  
As for Squall, he spent a few days moping about a girl saving Christmas and stealing his moment, but he got over it and married Rinoa three months later knowing she would always protect him from reindeer gone bad.  
  
  
~ The End ~   
  
AN: Please R&R 


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